OPINION- Looking Up: Rediscovering Human Connection at Stonehill

By Esther Minery

Taking a walk around campus, you’re no longer greeted with smiles from people you’ve seen in your classes or taking part in small side conversations, but rather growing familiar with the tops of people's heads while their faces stay buried in their phones. When you’re waiting in the long Gigis and Dunkin lines, have you ever noticed everyone has their faces down, not present with the reality that is in front of them? I encourage you to look around from your device for a minute or two and observe what is truly going on in front of our eyes: people no longer know how to socialize.

Upon entering Stonehill, I was fed the narrative that the campus was a social, tight-knit community, and everyone came together as one. This may have been the case at one point in time, but what has happened since? Stonehill has become the hot spot for cliques, and if you don’t fit the bill for what is expected of you, you’re ruled out. Someone in a different clique doesn’t like one of your friends? Don’t expect them to give you the decency of a smile or a hi in passing. The separation amongst students, whether it be athletes, student organizations, or just those who think they are above it all, is helping assist in Stonehill losing its spark. In previous years, I have been nervous to take a walk around campus, not knowing what to expect from others or who I’m going to see. I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve walked by someone I’ve built a connection with, and they act like they don’t know who I am. Since then, I have made sure I’m comfortable within myself, and I have the decency to say hi to people and treat them with respect, but I know this can be hard to navigate, especially if you are experiencing this as a first-year student. It’s easy to let outside influence affect where you feel you belong on campus, but it shouldn’t have to be that way, and if you feel like you’re struggling to fit in or like your authenticity is overlooked, you’re not alone.

There are very few people at Stonehill who I feel are genuinely kind and accepting of everyone. It’s okay to have differing opinions, different friends, and have different interests; that’s not the issue at hand. The problem we are facing is that if an interaction includes someone outside of their “group,” then they feel the conversation is inadequate, thus cutting off the rest of the campus. This limits social interactions that students could have, and they lose the chance of possibly finding someone they connect with even more. Think about how many people there are that you’d never know because your friend tells you a story about them that you immediately believe. It’s time we create our own narrative based on our own personal experiences, and the quicker you realize it only matters how you feel about a person or situation, the better off you will be.

I encourage you to take the time to engage in conversation with someone new, even if it scares you. It can be hard to put yourself in a situation where you don’t know how willing someone is to spark up a conversation back, but isn’t the point of existence human connection? It’s time for us to come together as the community we have been said to be, rather than using our phones as an escape from conversations that could be more fulfilling than relying on a screen.