By Jake Zabski
I know that many adults reading this would judge me for saying this, but I just have to say it: I feel old! I am now starting to understand the feeling of not knowing what the latest trends my 18-year-old sister is talking about, like a new show, a new celebrity, or a new song. I am now starting to understand how it feels to be in a “different world” than the high schoolers and college underclassmen that I work with back home over the summer. While they’re figuring out what colleges they’re applying to, or what general classes they’re taking, I’m in the process of putting on my big boy pants and trying to figure out what my life looks like in the post-grad world.
Ever since I’ve accepted the fact that my college years are about to be behind me, it’s made me extremely nostalgic for the past and anxious for what comes next. I spent the last few weeks of my summer being super nostalgic, particularly about my childhood. I’d walk around my house pinpointing memories of my younger years. From playing with my toy trains in my basement to sitting under a huge tree in my backyard and feeling the sun on my face while my first chocolate lab, Wrangler, ran around the yard with the zoomies. I seemed to escape into my childhood as a way of coping with the reality of growing up. Back then, things were seemingly all right in the world and nothing could go wrong.
Not all memories of the past are happy though, and once the fun, light memories of my past fade away, I’m left to remember the harder ones; the moments in high school where I just wanted to get out into the world and escape my hometown, the moments where I felt lost in terms of where I would apply to college or how I felt I had to hide my real personality from people, what job I wanted or wondering whether I’d publicly embarrass myself doing javelin during my track & field days. All of the good and bad memories made me who I am today, and I’m proud of my past no matter how misshapen it might be.
In a lot of ways, I think that high school Jake would be really proud of where I’ve gotten to today, even freshman year of college Jake would probably be jumping for joy. I grew and became the person that I saw myself being when I was younger. I’m slowly getting more confident in myself and the values I bring to the world around me. I’ve embraced my adventurous, free-spirited side and I do not hide who I really am anymore. It might still scare me to think about getting older, but I know that as long as I keep an open mind and keep growing, I can take on whatever the post-grad world has in store for me.
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