BY JAKE ZABSKI
“Jake, just take things one day at a time” is a phrase that my mom often says to me when she notices my mind is starting to wander. Some days, those words hit home, and other days I choose to blatantly ignore them and stubbornly try and act like my anxious thoughts are somehow the better option to focus on. Living a life stuck in fantasy scare land every day is really never the option one should take though. The only way that I was able to get a ticket out of fantasy scare land was by adopting practices that made my everyday life a little less anxious and appreciative of what I have.
When I wrote the bones of this piece, I was sitting with two of my best friends who have been my backbone over the last few weeks. From offering hugs and small tokens of kindness, to late-night talks, I am forever grateful for their strength to handle my racing mind, and for their advice and wisdom that has kept pushing me to better myself and find my way back. Gratitude is something that I’ve started practicing every single day for the last few weeks and I find that it allows me not only to reflect on what made me happy on a given day, but it also reminds me of all the good things I have in my life that always outweigh the negatives. Recurring themes such as being grateful for my friends and family and my warm bed make the list almost daily, while more specific moments such as laughing until it hurts while watching a John Mulaney comedy special with my best friends or going sledding down Donahue at night after a blizzard makes for a nice reflection on happy memories. I challenge myself every night before I go to bed to write down at least five things that I was grateful for that day, and often I go way over the “limit” of five.
Writing down my gratitudes isn’t the only thing I write down daily though. As soon as I wake up, or right before I go to bed, I try to write a page in my journal. I don’t give myself a specific prompt or idea, rather I just let my brain dictate what words come out onto the paper. Sometimes I write about what I’m excited for that day or what made me happy, sometimes I write about what made me anxious and how I combatted it, sometimes I write about my fears and worries and try and work through them on paper. There’s really no specific thing that I write about, but this style of writing often I feel is the most vulnerable as you can’t erase what’s been written. I find that by writing down my thoughts, I feel that I can expel them onto the page forever and go about my day or night without the thoughts hanging over my head.
Another practice in the writing and reading world that I’ve adopted that helps bring me down from fantasy scare land is reading. There’s something about escaping into another reality, another story, that can provide some comfort from the real world. I’ve recently been turning to more mystery-adventure novels, as I find those stories the most interesting to read and keep me turning the page. I’m currently reading “What You Never Knew," a Tik Tok recommendation, which tells a story of disappearance, grief, and mystery all set on a fictional island on Lake Champlain. I find reading to be the perfect activity to partake in during the winter months as well and there’s nothing like reading a book next to an open window and bathing in the winter sun.
One of my other favorite activities to curb my anxiety is listening to music. Music has always been my go-to form of medicine. It’s easy to access, you can control what you listen to, and who doesn’t love belting out to a song to relieve some stress and worry? Not only do I listen to music, but I have a specific playlist that I’ve shared below that I find always helps calm me down. When I’m feeling anxious or stressed, I like listening to more upbeat, “good vibes” music. Songs that either have a great message of empowerment or songs that boost my mood. You’ll find if you listen to my playlist that my tastes range anywhere from country, to pop, to indie/alternative. I find that by listening to music for at least an hour every day, my mind is able to calm down and take a break. It’s also just fun to escape into the world of an artist or song and see the world from a different perspective.
Lastly, I recently had to admit to myself and accept that sometimes we need help greater than what we, our friends, or our loved ones can give us. I’m an advocate for counseling, but I have to be honest and say that I’ve been putting off going back for months now. I’ve been in counseling on and off since I’ve been 16, and I think that if I never got the help that I got as a teenager, I probably would not be the same strong individual that I am today. Going to counseling allows me to talk about my anxieties and work through situations that trigger them. Going to counseling also gives me a reminder of how much progress I’ve made in my mental health journey which I always find to be a great achievement. I’m happy and proud to say that I recently booked my first counseling appointment in months, and I’m really looking forward to getting to talk to a counselor and get back on a regular counseling schedule.
There is absolutely no shame in getting help, even if you think you don’t need help, it’s always good to talk to someone and get an outside perspective on whatever the situation may be and talk through it. I encourage other students who may be reluctant in getting help to reach out to counseling services. Their whole purpose on campus is to give you support and resources no matter what your situation may be. Help is available, you just have to take action to receive it, and even if you feel that nobody is rooting for you to get help, just know that I am.
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